I don’t know what came over me. I was so strong, eating my yogurt before bed, and next thing I knew I was stuffing those damn stroopwafles into my mouth, one after another. I had 4. FOUR. at 170 kcals each. I promised my therapist and mom I would try to stop purging so I didn’t purge. Instead I took a b vitamin and a shot of cayenne pepper to raise my metabolism and drank rice vinegar to stop the absorption of fat.
I’m so scared for my weigh in tomorrow morning. I don’t want it to say the same number. I want to lose.
I can’t do anything right. I can’t even starve myself right. I’m not good enough, smart enough, motivated enough. The very least I can be is thin enough.
But NO. I’m not even good enough for that.